Denabear Time

Join me on #MyMentalIllnessJourney where I’m #KillingPTSDErryDay from the effects of Childhood Neglect, Molestation, Rape, Sexual Assault During Military Service, Traumatic Brain Injuries, Constant Anxiety, Deep Depression with my #420GoodVibesforVets, #CocoaBeachKetoQueenness my awesome man the #CocoaBeachNativeChiroBoy constantly by my side, and a deep seeding unwillingness to give up!

This whole self care and self love thing is new to me. That’s what makes joining my blog journey so interesting! I’m not waiting for an “ah ha” moment and my life to turn around. I’m writing as I’m finding my way. You’re in the thick of it with me! It’s about the process of getting right and the tumbling along the way. Right Mo Fo?! No one gets it right on the first try. This blog is my raw real truth. My intentions were to blog once a week. Since my trip to Washington DC I have not published a thing! I beat myself up about it every day. All the while 3 or 4 different working blogs are ongoing in my head. I’ll get a chance to sit down and work on my new art soon. Getting my life together is no joke! It takes real work can I get a Hell Yea? I’m still in the process of combining two household’s worth of goods with two people with a ton of clutter. My perfectionism and OCD make even the smallest molehill of projects into a mountain. Have I mentioned I’m a master procrastinator? In the last few weeks I’ve done some damage at decluttering the house. All of this pale in comparison to what’s going on inside my body.

I suffer from severe adrenal fatigue. My body produces the same amount of DHEA as a 70-year-old. What the fuck? Right?…I’ve always said I have an old soul, but I’m literally aging prematurely. I have a shortage of cortisol as well. These combined with the abundance of estrogen I have flowing through my system, I’m quite literally a pile of hot flash mess. I’m under a new natural bioidentical hormone protocol that is making a WORLD of difference. I’m still human and make mistakes on reordering. I recently ran out of my estrogen defense supplements. You’d NEVER know how evil a bitch estrogen can be until you have a fuckton of it attacking your insides. I was down for DAYS! I’m still recovering slowly after being on my supplements for three days. I took the time I needed to recover with a deep love for self. I took my time to do what I could but focused on me. I feel much better than I have in a long while.

This blog is also about celebrating the little victories. I started this blog on 1 May 2018. May brought me 2,298 views by 1,129 visitors. An outstanding 31 likes on my posts! That’s better than I ever could have hoped! There’s so much more where that’s come from. I’m here for your entertainment while I reconcile with my own shame and guilt.  This is a forum to share my journey and if someone wants to take any lessons learned, well I’m making the world a better m f’in place!

Hang with me and there will be more journeys to be had! Some that have already happened just haven’t been written down yet.

-One Love



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